NIGHTMARE

by 4:44

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1.
insecure 02:45
insecure tell me that im ok everybody love me ive got a problem i cant hide it cant deny it ok
2.
anxiety 01:44
i cant eat and i cant breathe and i cant sleep and i cant dream and i cant pray why do i feel like this i dont wanna know whats going on man it could be anything man i need your help oh man its not in my head but baby please try to see that theres something wrong with me but please dont tell me its anxiety its not anxiety
3.
funeral 02:56
no one'll tell you give up get gone go on your way son you're washed up burnt out baby all your dreams are dead baby boy all your dreams are dead funeral i gotta do something new i need a new purpose to get me through the day to the next day to the next day to the next day to the next day its time to pack it up pack it in time to begin again funeral
4.
lifeline 03:17
another night alone again im playing on my phone again waiting for a friend to call maybe ill go out and buy more shit maybe ill go out and hit the liquor store maybe ill go out and buy more shit i dont wanna spend another day alone maybe i just need honesty i just really need i just really need you not fine youre my lifeline no im not fine lifeline let me come and see you where you are when the night falls your my northern star wont you lift me up im always falling down youre in the night sky im here on the ground
5.
rocker 03:02
aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh aghhhhhhhhhhhhhh rock and roll aint dead fled its shell hatched in my head possessed by it oh Jesus im a mess cant tell if im cursed or blessed from it pump through my vains into my brain and bleed my blood waste my time and rot my mind im a rocker-roller man when i was a child simple things would make me smile now i fear im numb as fuck dumb broke and beat down on my luckl lift me up im drowning on my feet soul burning in the street oh forgive my crime i did my time for being a rocker-roller man
6.
idiot 01:57
the clock ticks and i think about the future i think of all the time wasted i think of all the days we chased our dreams away and now we look back on brighter days to find just what we left behind and i dont wanna change do you *wheeze wheeze cough* ive got hurt in my head everyday i try to fight it off i fight it off and i look just like an idiot and i feel just like a fool and i just wanna change for you
7.
potion 02:20
it makes me sick to my stomach i cant pretend that i want it im not fine i do mind the cars are on the road tonight as the waves break across the ocean in her head prove your devotion magic potion magic no i wont change, i wont change for you (but i want you to change)
8.
survive 02:52
hoo ya ya yaghh six months of no breathing suffer silent screaming the sleep paralysis demon has got the family weeping i jump up i cant breathe i repent and believe that one day everything will be alright my darling i will not hurt no more these things will pass and they wont last forever if i survive everything will be ok one day everything will be alright if i survive i will try my best to find you to find you if i survive
9.
plea 02:21
wake up in the morning like theres nothing wrong wanna wake up in the morning underneath the sun i want my body to breathe when i lay down to sleep i wanna live again like when i was young back when life was fun back when everything was going the right way for me i didnt wonder if i was gonna die cus i felt so alive but now i dont feel so good i dont feel the way that i think i should and i cant take it anymore God i need you now more than ever come into my life i dont wanna take whats not mine but i cannot fight no more i fight it away no no more i fight it away but i still
10.
dare 01:56
you lived your life with your back against the wall when you let your guard down you fall and i cant blame you i cant help you but i can try but i can try to live my life with my back against the wall when you let your guard down you fall like a lamb to the slaughter breathe youve got me on your side i dare you to love
11.
gold 01:40
she got gold i got a black heart devil in my gut devil in my friends devil in my stomach devil its the end get out i wont let you down
12.
believe 02:49
im so tired of fighting things in my head i got rage from so much blood on the page i cant erase it on my own and im so weak i need some sleep i need to shut my eyes and rest for a long long time i need to rest for a long long time from water to wine blood from the water water from rock snake from the staff i believe
13.
confusion 03:51
i believe in you and you believe in me and i believe in fearing God stear me God cus i dont know where to go i dont know what to do all this confusion confusion dont leave me to die i tried my best give my best dont leave me to the lie let it slide let me strive
14.
truly alone 04:13
what do you want what do you need what is the end goal you so passionately believe in they listen to your sex they track you on your phone youll never be truly alone again youll never be truly alone again they watch you in the church they watch you in your home youll never be truly alone again now youll never be truly alone again now bullet in the brain a hatchet in the head a funeral for feelings for something that was said a dog with a haircut man buys a bone barks up the wrong tree and ends up domed blood in the blister filth in the heart you peel back the scab like its a work of art but even decadence is dead were melting in the bed with the red eye boo they give you all the sex to keep you blind that youve been truly alone again they want your soul they want to take your life (put it in my body) they want to bleed your blood they want to spend your money and i i just wanna rest they offer me a painless death a painless a life where dont i dont have to breathe i dont have to cry i dont have to sleep i just have to die
15.
sever 02:24
dont you lie to me i swear that ill find out what you do will you fall for the body of a demon for a temptress for the seaman cut it out i love you you can trust me i trust you to be true devils getting to my head now in my bed now trying to sever love
16.
duped 03:10
i dont need nothing in my brain im the same as when i was a child lets change and find out what its all about bless me lovely i put my hand in your soul filling that God shaped hole duped dupe de doop de doo
17.
party 02:38
take me to the place we go take me to the glorious rock and roll party with my family and friends never let it end never let us cry never let us die again i wanna go to the glorious rock and roll party by the seaside not a dry eye in sight i wanna spend the rest of my life at this rock and roll party at this glorious rock and roll party i just wanna love i just wanna hold in you in my arms never let you go never let you leave never let you hurt never let you be alone at this glorious rock and roll party
18.
future 03:01
i dont know what to do so i just keep pushing through cus the futures scary even though the futures scary even though ive got friends that i would die theyd die for me and a family to help me see the way to go and God to guard me from below i dont know what to do so i just keep pushing through cus the futures scary even though the futures scary even though ive got a girl that i will try to live my best and die for and a family id fight for and God on my side i dont know what to do so i just keep pushing through cus the futures scary even though the futures scary
19.
dependent 02:18
im not defined by my situation whatever im meant to do God will pull me through your will your way im laying my life down if you uproot me from my town if you need me for your sound i found my calling i found my way through the days i wait never in vain using everything i am your instruments you are the composer you are everything i am nothing in the middle where we meet you make me something i try to stay alive but i cant make it on my own

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released June 1, 2021

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4:44 New Jersey

i wrote recorded and played all the instruments on these.

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