OCEAN

by 4:44

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1.
Home (DEMO) 01:56
there was a time i felt alive i just wanna go back there there was a time i felt alive dont tell me what i want dont tell me what i need dont tell me who i am just let me be i just wanna go back home where do we go before we're born i just wanna go back there before the flesh before the form through the eye of the needle in there just tell what you want just tell me what to do just tell me what to say i sing for you tell who i gotta be tell me who i am ill do anything i just wanna go home just wanna go back home i really wanna go home
2.
i sailed so far off the grid how did i navigate as a kid im always looking for a way back on the ship but this trip takes forever im only looking for a way back on the ship this trip takes forever i sailed so far off the grid how did i navigate as a kid im only looking for a way back on the ship this trip takes forever im only looking for a way back on the ship this trip takes forever it takes forever it takes forever it takes forever it takes forever
3.
backslide into the ocean into the water out of your hand backslide keep me in your prayer im going nowhere i keep spinning and spiraling around keep me in your prayer im going nowhere faster than youve ever been anywhere im gonna backslide into the ocean into the water out of your hand backslide bless me keep me wash me in your blood i am someone that i do no know cleanse my mind of all this noise backslide into the ocean into the water out of your hand backslide
4.
under the deep dark sky with the bright white lights thinking about all of the ones that i love and all of the ones that were left behind on the edge of the deep blue sea watching the waves rise on the water crash on the land as i hold your hand i could never let go crying for you thinking about how nothings changed wondering if ill see your face again if ill see your face again the sight of the oceans filled with pain triggers emotions in my brain for you deep blue under the deep dark sea while my chest grows tight fight for life and look for the light of my life to guide me home but im still punching the waves on the edge of the deep dark sky learning to treasure this pain that she gave me drenched in the sound of these bursting clouds i could never let on that im not crying for you thinking about how everythings changed wondering if you remember my name again whats my name again i drown in the ocean filled with guilt with all we've lost and all ive built for you deep blue
5.
i want you do you want me mizuhara takes my money it aint funny playing with my heart alone at last if this moment could last forever id never be blue chizuru i love you i pray that you do too if you fall into the ocean id catch you in my arms if the sea had to swallow me to set you free from harm you know i would mizuhara i want you do you want me to try to ease the pain theres just today tomorrows not guaranteed let me set your heart free mizuhara i was made for you and you were made for me id never let you go id never let you pay your way even the darkest nights would blossom into a beautiful day mizuhara
6.
dont know what youve got until its gone its so cliche but i dot think its wrong dont think about it too much youre just his crutch he dont buy you stuff enough if youre gonna get out do it while you can ive got a plan hes just a boy hes not a man so honey take my hand like the wind that blows through the trees youll be gone with the ocean breeze dont think about it too much i think about it all the time i would bring it up if i could talk about it without crying i think ive had enough i dont have to laugh it off no more finally getting back the piece of me that sailed across the sea with you if youre gonna get out do it while you can ive got a plan hes just a boy hes not a man so honey take my hand like the wind that blows through the trees youll be gone with the ocean breeze he wont think about it wont even cry he'll be fine tonight he'll forget you and fall in love again
7.
Hook (DEMO) 02:53
like a hook through the lip baby when you took that sip hit like a shot in the arm baby theres something wrong with me look me in the eye tell me im alright sing a lullaby do anything just to get me through this night when you hear that voice when youve made your choice when you face that night darling til you see the light trust me ill take you round the bend ill lead you through the eye of the needle darling you dont have to die
8.
9.
i dont wanna go but i cant breathe i dont wanna know whats wrong with me just let it go away from here my throat is closing up youre weak its just a panic attack youre a hypochondriac taking it one day at a time my heart is racing my body is not mine oh shit i guess im old enough to die when i close my eyes i pray that i wake up i wanna wake up God whered you go everything is spiraling out of my control i have no emotion ive gotta trust that its deeper than the flesh shine a little light its the darkest night of my soul Kaneda i need you im on my own the poison is taking its toll theres no refuge in rock and roll in a state of constant prayer in the prayer garden the angels send the ones i love to comfort me my doggies looking over me when it feels like death and it tastes like dirt and you hurt worse than you ever did anchor to the captain cus the devil is dancing he has no control over the air you're gasping for i saw the light when i hit the ground i was calling for my mamma but i couldnt make a sound my life is in your hands your will, your way, your plans
10.
everybodys laughing at me they dont believe how i feel how i feel they just think its in my head they just think im crazy oh they just think im lazy oh they just know im an idiot if youve got to go if you have to know if you have to be with me i guess go down to the river and wait indefinitely and maybe waste a lifetime and maybe waste my time and maybe waste your time maybe if i were fine but i am in the half-life yea i am in the half-life my brain cant stop squirming my body is out of control i called a priest and cried for help he asked me if im in a cult i told him no its a virus he said it lies in your soul just come and see me when youre feeling better so i went to the hospital i broke down in the street when they couldnt diagnose me i started drowning in my tears i started choking on my fears and now i wonder if ill ever get better if ill ever get relief but i must not accept defeat
11.
oppohajsdjdfhjkaksjdasdf oooahsdjkdshfjaksdjkasdjk done a whole lot of killing feelings like the things i said werent the things i said in the morning should be waking to the feeling that youre healing but youre waking with a demon on your mind didnt know one could go so low so low didnt know one could so low so low done a whole lot of killing feelings peeling layers back to the spoiled fruit pouring windex on lantern flies pouring windex on lantern flies watching them crawl around and die just watching crawl around and die its a strange world its a strange world i just want your love i just want your love done a whole lot of killing feelings in between buying cds and chasing my dreams i dont wanna grow i dont wanna grow up please dont let them die dont let them die please dont let them die i wana feel alive its a strange world its a strange world oohasdhasdjfadghashdhashfdadhfsj oohaasdfhjsdfjasdkjadfldfgjlksdflkadf i just want your love i just want your love i just need your love i just want your love my absent mind is void he wants it all destroyed i always let him in through the portal of my sin not today not tonight time to fight for the ones i love its a strange world its a strange world ooashdhasdfjsdjfhajsdjadfjsdf oopoahsdjisdkhfkasjdkjsidfjkf
12.
whitecaps on my back the cold wind is blowing the ocean it ebbs and flows emotion i go wherever the wind will blow but i need just need some time alone darling could you just give me some space i want it i need it i dont want you coming round darling dont you let me see your face whitecaps are on my back and im gone
13.
sometimes i wish that i was far from where i am life is beautiful but it hurts so bad sometimes im overdrawn but im still holding on cus its got to get better i wanna see who youre meant to be my faith is not in my circumstance from over the hill cut through the commotion pierces the soul through waves of emotion and i hear so clear dont fear sometimes i wish that i was someone that i am not im not satisfied with the things that i have got im getting old i go nowhere i live in the basement and i sleep by the tv i wanna see who youre meant to be my faith is not in my circumstance from over the hill cut through the commotion pierces the soul through waves of emotion and i hear so clear dont fear
14.
i dont know where im going but you brought me so far i dont what im doing but you brought me so far Lift your mat open your eyes and walk to the water dont look back dont be suprised when you can see see through confusion see through illusion see through emotion see the ocean we're so finite brought the twilight to get my heart right and im praying to the healer erase my fear i know you hear me hear me im yours heal me before im gone
15.
Armor (DEMO) 04:47
its not in the skin its not in anything at all all my scars are showing and i dont know where im going im getting old but im growing up everythings leaving and im grieving the soul comes from the source repent before divorce im not giving up life aint over and we've got so far to go so long my sorrow goodbye to the lie when the morning sun comes up will i be strong enough to fight this feeling im leaning on the lord wielding his sword putting on the armor of god living in sin beginning again and again and again and again and again living through the filter of grace the Lord erases the stain on the face how beautiful how beautiful you are above the stars here with me so close but sometimes you feel so far you feel so far the soul comes through the source repent before divorce im not giving up life aint over and we've got so far to go so long my sorrow goodnight to the lie i wake up to the morning light so long to my sorrow goodbye to the lie when the morning sun comes up will i be strong enough to fight this feeling im leaning on the lord wielding his sword putting on the armor of god
16.
17.
Took a long time Trusting god with all I’ve got So sick and tired Trying to be someone that im not I get so scared living in the past Im facing forward Gonna make the present last for awhile Gonna try to smile Gonna die ‘fore I deny my savior The essence of all things The reason why I sing My king My everything Never gonna make me Never gonna take me Never gonna break me Never gonna shake me Never gonna hold me Only gonna mold Only gonna turn me into Who im supposed to be now
18.
there is nothing to keep you from his love for you like a flood like a flame like the rain wash the pain away today is a new like the hope of the sight of the light as it burst across the night i will love you forever
19.
i dont want anything i dont want nothing at all i know who i will go to if i fall this worlds got nothing to give this world got nothing at all got nothing at all as leaves fall i call your name i call your name i dont know who i am i dont wana complain all i know is that i am not the same as leaves fall i call your name i call your name im drifting through the water glancing up at the sky wondering why this worlds so weird i dont know what i fear i dont know leaves fall i call your name i call your i call your name
20.
i will love you forever

credits

released March 20, 2021

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4:44 New Jersey

i wrote recorded and played all the instruments on these.

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