ORCHID

by 4:44

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1.
eraser 02:03
there is nothing to be afraid of he only wants to love you he only wants to hold you in his arms he only wants to keep you free from harm cus when the levee breaks out comes running all of our mistakes i need an eraser self loathing all this hate is growing its been bottled up dont let it spill it will try to kill you wont make you stronger wont make you live longer a lie
2.
i go there too much spend all my money put in my brain too many stories i like it ease my mind i like it im fine barnes and noble
3.
if you think this is normal then youre fucked up in the head dont you know youve been lied to population control wants your soul and wants you dead so baby take take me down to the flower garden cafe
4.
autumn 03:17
all i wanna do is walk through the forest and hold your hand as the leaves fall down around me as the leaves fall down this gorgeous weather has me feeling better than i ever have so in love with you im in love with you for forever lets stay together (fall) my favorite season i cant believe that she is real i feel in love for the first time for the last time she is the reason for october breeze
5.
nuckin futs 02:31
twist off the tongue out of the mouth into one ear then out the other the dumb fuck brother missing the days when he used to be smothered in his mothers love a little sympathy a little care fill me with guilt with your disappointed stare and bitch me out to tear my down babe he's nuckin futs something is wrong with me your baby not in my head no im not crazy is anybody on my side
6.
breaking 03:19
im over it can i quit ive had enough of feeling how i feel please i need your help im falling cant you see your baby calling out i need you now im not fine im not ok maybe tomorrow itll go away but then im back there where i was before and i cant take this shit anymore im breaking down
7.
fire 01:17
if you wanna be a man ill show you how take this gun and point it at the enemy and fire fire your bullet fire your gun
8.
whisper 02:58
though ive taught you well you still fly by the seat of your feelings questioning it all i am constantly revealing myself to you within and around you though you chose to close your eyes dont lie to yourself shh turn down the music let me hear you in silence ah ah
9.
gemstone 03:35
gemstone im home alone and im trying not to cry im lonely baby make me crazy tired liar try a little harder to shed
10.
carve 03:14
11.
test 02:27
this is not who i am this is my shadow self im gonna kill this thing inside of me to prove to you my love i will slay it at the surface if you melt it from above i will plunge to the deepest depths to disembowel dont ask me how with God on my side my prayer release me from this nightmare release me from this torture i need rest is this a test
12.
pucker 02:47
can you not conceive what it is that i believe in if you cannot i guess i will have to go away and i will show you what goes through my mind all the time i cry i am not like you id never leave what i believe in behind seize thoughts and transform my mind don't pucker sucker for motherfuckers that want your soul don't pucker sucker for motherfuckers dont be so spineless
13.
gas 02:24
oh no gas man its out of my hands its out of your hands its in the hands of God i pray for you to give me love to give to your family no longer suffering you float through the clouds you aint coming down with mommy and bobby and daddy and the boy who fell of the truck
14.
strength 01:26
in prayer i ask you for help i cannot do it on my own i need supernatural compassion i need faith i need hope i need strength i am weak i weep
15.
ocarina 02:00
i sit on your daughters bed and watch you play ocarina of time when you walk through the doors of the funerals gets my daddy cryin im gonna miss you man im gonna miss you til i die lord if theres a life if theres a life beyond the body im begging for some new kind of sign how am i gonna breathe without you in my life how am i gonna smile hows it gonna be without you in my life im never not gonna cry when i think of you im gonna miss your stories im gonna miss your jokes im gonna miss that laugh im gonna miss that smoke firewood that you gave us tables and chairs that you gave us my grandmas rail that you made us you put my car and lift and fixed the brakes how am i gonna breathe without you in my life how am i gonna smile hows it gonna be without you in my life im never not gonna cry when i think of you
16.
comedy 01:53
the day comedy died i cannot believe what i am hearing i bet youre up in heaven making God laugh win lose draw its the same sad song as life moves on without you comedy is dead woo comedy is dead now
17.
18.
hiatus 04:10
im sick of doing the same shit everyday i need a change im burnt out im fucked up im beat up put on my gloves when i wake up im going on indefinite hiatus
19.
jojo 04:01
where did you go i never went anywhere i was waiting for you but you never came back no jojo where did you go i was waiting for you we got kicked out of the zoo for pointing toy guns at the animals pocket knives those were the days when i felt alive but your daddy said it was too long of a drive i bless you time to time i hear stories of the things you do dont forget your youth and all the people that helped you through people change and people get strange deep inside is the same old guy that i was when i was young who you gonna be you could really be anything still the same to me as you were when you were young jojos got a gun jojos got an arsenal jojos got a knife jojos got a bow and arrow
20.
days of rain 02:49
21.
purpose 03:30
i hate to see you go but life is like that sometimes we'll be fine dont look back or youll fall behind youve gotta do what youre meant to do and when you find your purpose it'll all be worth it

credits

released September 16, 2021

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4:44 New Jersey

i wrote recorded and played all the instruments on these.

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